story:- Before I start my story i'd like to explain this I mean no harm to Hubby i'm just taking the piss It's just that I fancied having a laugh at him Oh My God he does such things that are dim
I hear you asking what's this poem about?
Women reading this will relate to it no doubt It's all about Hubby, Kris, that's his name Kris drives me mad, never accepts the blame
It all began at the start of the year
Kris suggested we buy a puter, not dear
By coincidence his friend had one to sell "If you want it" he said "just give me a bell"
So we talked and thought OK why not
We thought of the cost as money we'd not got We gave his friend a bell on the number he gave Hoping in the process lots of money we'd save
"It's 50 quid" he said "for everything here"
"That's the monitor and tower, all the gear"
For 50 quid we just had to have it
Hoping once we got home it didn't turn out shit
Taking it home we set it up rather quick I thought it'd take longer cos we're both pretty thick But it was much easier than we first thought Even though neither of us are computer taught.
The only thing that was left for us to do Was sign up for the net.....but with who?
We decided to take up the deal with cable Very soon (I was hoping) we'd be internet able
This is where it gets funny, read on
Pay attention to what Kris did, his brain is gone How can someone be so stubborn and thick?
Just to prove me wrong - he didn't anyway. What a prick!!!
What Kris did was very silly and dim
Forever he will have the piss taken out of him Cable were taking their time with our connection So Kris thought tinkering with it HE could get it done
So he faffed around for literally hours and hours Up through the night too, my mood turned sour "What the hell are you doing?" I yelled continuously "I'm trying to find the net" he said "Can't you see"
"I see what you're TRYING to do" I said
"But you needn't be up all night, come to bed"
He refused to have sleep and carried on faffing Sod him, I thought, he obviously knows nothing
"But you can't access the net until cable come out"
I told him "They'll sort it soon, I had no doubt"
No matter what you do you stupid stupid fool Grrrrrrr You aint gonna get it to work until we have a providerrrrr
Still he kept on trying to prove me wrong When would he give up? Hoped it wasn't long Frustrating isn't even the half of it I felt like screaming at him, oh what a tit!!!
Aaaaaahhhhh, you're getting no-where fast Stop faffing with the computer, how long will this last?
You're doing my head in and it's perfectly clear That we can't go on the net until cable come here
Kris, the silly fool, did eventually concede After days of faffing admitted he'd failed indeed He had really wanted to prove me wrong But instead realised he'd been a fool all along
Hopefully cable would soon do their job
If they didn't come soon they'd get the sharp end of my gob But thankfully for us just a few days later Cable connected us to the net - how happy we were.
"There you go" I told Kris the fool
"The internet should work now, hey we're cool"
"So it does" Kris said meekly to me
"I guess you were right" I knew i'd be
"OK I was wrong, it was silly to try
Stop picking on me" he begged "why oh why"
"It's not my fault if I stupidly thought I could connect us to the net before a provider was sought"
The punishment for this little episode
Is taking the mick, having a goad
What a funny and stupid thing he did try Many many hours wasted, it's so funny I could cry
Apologised he has for being a pain in the arse He even admits it turned into a farce Promises have been made he'll listen in future I doubt the promises as for this fool there's no cure
Well all is well with the internet now
How I managed before I don't know how
Unfortunately for Kris he's lost his wife As now *MY* beloved computer is the love of my life
